By Raeesa Padia
Making assumptions is something we are all guilty of, whether we admit it or not. It has become second nature to us—jumping to conclusions, presuming things about people or situations without taking the time to ask or verify. We make hasty decisions based on half-truths or appearances, and in the process, we end up creating unnecessary drama.
How often do we blow things out of proportion when, in reality, the situation could have been resolved with one simple question? Sadly, assumptions have the power to damage strong relationships, end long-standing friendships, and even prevent broken ties from ever being mended. Instead of making things better, we often make them worse.
But why do we do this? What drives us to stoop to that level? A major reason is our lack of empathy. Our minds get clouded with toxic thoughts that prevent us from seeing a situation from someone else’s perspective. We act impulsively, reacting on instinct rather than reflection, yet we expect others to always give us the benefit of the doubt.
Take this example: you haven’t spoken to a friend in a while. Life has been chaotic—work deadlines, kids, family responsibilities, personal struggles—and you just haven’t found the time to check in. Because your friend also hasn’t reached out, you assume she doesn’t care. In your mind, her silence means she has replaced you with someone else or no longer values your friendship. These thoughts linger, and before you know it, resentment builds.
But little did you know… that same friend may have been going through her own storm. Perhaps she was battling health issues, dealing with financial struggles, facing challenges in her marriage, or simply trying to keep her household together. Maybe she was too drained to talk, too exhausted to explain, and just needed space to breathe. Not messaging you wasn’t a sign of indifference—it was her way of coping and trying to regain strength.
Another common scenario is when a rumor spreads about someone you know. Instead of asking your friend directly, you believe what you hear and distance yourself. Without realizing it, you’ve judged her unfairly and damaged the trust between you. One conversation could have clarified the truth, but assumptions stood in the way.
The irony is that when we are the ones struggling, we expect patience, understanding, and loyalty from others. We want people to check in on us, to defend us, to stand by us. Yet, when the roles are reversed, we act on suspicion, pride, and ego. Why the double standards?
It won’t cost you anything to ask before assuming. A simple call, a short message, or a genuine conversation could save years of friendship and prevent unnecessary heartbreak.
So, learn to ask. Ask before you believe gossip. Ask before you distance yourself. Ask before you ruin a relationship. Put aside your pride and ego, and choose clarity over assumptions.
Because sometimes, all it takes is one question to avoid a lifetime of regret.
