By Raeesa Padia
Sometimes someone says or does something that hurts us deeply, words that pierce our heart, actions that break our trust, and we find it almost impossible to forgive. Days turn into months, months into years, and still, that wound remains. We carry it quietly within us, and though time passes, the heart refuses to let go.
Yet, when we reflect upon the life of the most Beloved of Allah, Nabi Muhammad ﷺ, we realize that no one endured pain and betrayal the way he did. He faced ridicule, abuse, loss, and unimaginable grief, yet he forgave. Again and again. So if he, who experienced far greater trials than us, could forgive, why can’t we?
Is it pride that stops us from taking the first step? Is it our ego that makes us feel we’d lose by apologizing or by reaching out? Sometimes, we even forget what caused the distance in the first place, but the barrier remains simply because neither side took that one humble step toward reconciliation.
Life is too short to carry grudges that weigh down the soul. Every sunrise is a new chance from Allah ﷻ, a new beginning, a clean page. So why do we choose to live in the shadow of what has already passed?
Think of this: our Beloved Prophet ﷺ forgave those who committed the unthinkable, those who caused pain to his beloved daughter, those who plotted to harm him, those who mocked his message. Imagine the level of mercy in his heart that he could forgive the very people responsible for the death of his loved ones. And yet, he forgave not because they deserved it, but because his heart was pure, free of hate, filled only with compassion and submission to Allah.
We too can learn from that. True forgiveness is not about accepting what happened; it’s about freeing our hearts from the bitterness that holds us captive.
Rasulullah ﷺ said to the effect: Family ties hold onto the Arsh (Throne) of Allah every morning and evening, saying, “O my Rabb, join the one who joins me, preserve the one who preserves me, and destroy the one who severs me.”
Islam is not only about prayer, fasting, Qur’an, or dhikr, that is the direct form of worship. The indirect form is how we live, how we treat others, our manners, our relationships, our forgiveness, our character. Both are intertwined. If one prays and fasts yet hurts others, backbites, or breaks family ties, how can one expect peace or forgiveness from Allah?
If those we’ve wronged don’t forgive us, how can we expect Allah to? But if we forgive others sincerely, perhaps through their du‘as and the softness of our heart, Allah will grant us Jannah, insha’Allah.
When dealing with family, learn to be the mazloom, the one who bears with patience, for the oppressed is never forgotten by Allah.
May Allah soften our hearts, grant us the strength to forgive, to mend ties, and to embody the mercy of our beloved Nabi ﷺ in our daily lives.
Aameen.
